Ten Suggestions for a Healthy, Dynamic Partnership

Love is no mystery: how science helps us understand and strengthen our emotional bonds.

Ten Suggestions for a Healthy, Dynamic Partnership

Is love therefore irrational, unpredictable, and enigmatic? Not in the future. We've figured out the code. Social scientists and therapists who employ emotionally focused therapy, or EFT, have made significant progress in the past few years. We now have a map to this passion, this fever that has confounded poets and lovers throughout human history as we enter the twenty-first century.

Here's what we currently know:

1. Our Need for Love Is Innate: How to Embrace and Value Your Emotional Connection

 Our need for one another is innate. The human brain is designed to form strong bonds with a select group of priceless individuals. Acknowledging your need for this unique form of emotional connection is a sign of strength and maturity rather than weakness.

Thus, don't be ashamed of your need for a secure, loving relationship.

2. Emotional Pain Is Real: How to Recognize and Heal It in Your Romantic Relationship

Emotional hurt in romantic relationships is a blend of despair, rage, and fear above all else. Fear of being turned away and turned down. Our brains record this discomfort in the same area as physical pain. Ignoring or shoving these emotions aside is too difficult. Identifying the hurt and communicating it to the person you love are the first steps towards healing from a relationship injury.

Therefore, don't just "ignore hurts" in the hopes that they would go away.

3. Love is the best survival strategy: how to break out of isolation and protect your emotional bond

 Those who can reach out to others are the strongest among us. The greatest survival tactic of all is love. We are all yearning for a secure and loving connection. Loneliness is just another word for self-sufficiency.

So take a chance and defend this safe haven by battling for it. You'll never find a better investment than this one.

4. Differences are not deal-breakers: how to overcome distance and conflict in your relationship

Partnerships can last when partners are radically different. It's acceptable if you feel as though you are from different worlds. The one thing that love cannot withstand is an ongoing emotional detachment. Distance is often more harmful to your love than conflict.

Put it properly after a fight. Mend it, mend the rift in your relationship.

5. Perfection is not required: how to be emotionally present and receptive for your partner

No lover is flawless. Only in the movies is that true. When we believe we have disappointed or failed as a couple, we shut down. However, our sweetie doesn't want flawless performance. Ultimately, our emotional presence is what he or she needs.

Saying "I don't know what to do or say" is therefore acceptable. Simply remain aware and receptive.

6. The real issues behind the arguments: how to recognize and restore your emotional connection

 Money, sex, or the kids are never the topics of important arguments. That is merely a rippling on the ocean's surface. They are about someone protesting the loss of a secure emotional connection, frequently in a difficult-to-understand indirect manner. When one partner in a relationship truly wants to ask, "Where are you?," 

Do I matter to you? ", but instead turns demanding and critical, making the other person feel inadequate and hopeless, so they move on. After that, the couple experiences increasing emotional famine, impasse, and disconnection.

Therefore, especially if you are frequently fighting over chores, do attempt to talk to each other when you feel alone and that you are failing at being the ideal partner. Investigate below the surface.

7. The two ways of coping with disconnection: how to break the cycle of anger and indifference

When we are unable to connect, there are only two options for handling the vulnerability of love. Either get angry and move quickly to destroy the other person's walls, or attempt to be indifferent and construct a wall around yourself for protection. Which one do you use?

I think you learned it at a very young age.

So please, give your desires some attention and take a chance on making contact. The other two choices are tricks meant to entice your partner to leave you.

8. The best recipe for a long and happy life: how to reduce stress and increase intimacy with your partner

The best formula for a long and happy life that there is is a loving connection. The best way to relieve stress is to hold your significant other close. Stress hormones are inhibited by cuddle hormones!

Thus, do give it some time to hold and play. Compared to taking vitamins, this is superior.

9. The secret of lasting passion: how to turn sex into a safe adventure with your partner

 Love is capable of enduring passion. Adoration is merely the introduction. The symphony is a tuned loving relationship. I refer to this type of bond as synchronicity sex. One turns sex into a safe adventure.

Thus, when sex seems to be temporarily stagnating, don't give up. Discuss it. Without open communication, making love is like trying to land a 747 without assistance from the control tower!

10. The key moments of change: how to communicate your needs and desires to your partner

When a couple communicates openly and asks the other to provide for their needs, those are the crucial times in a relationship. Although it takes guts, now is the time of magic and change.

Thus, inhale deeply and pay attention to your feelings. Allow them to inform you of your needs. Then express to your spouse how much you value them and that you are willing to take a chance by telling them what you really need from them. Remain straightforward and truthful.

You can construct love if you have a blueprint for it. According to EFT research, 70% of couples are able to mend their relationship. Love no longer has to be a mystery.

 Some tips for couples to keep their relationship healthy and happy. 

• Make time for each other. Schedule regular dates, outings, or activities that you both enjoy and that allow you to reconnect and have fun together.
• Express appreciation and gratitude. Don’t take your partner for granted. Show them that you value them and that you are thankful for their presence and support in your life.
• Communicate openly and respectfully. Share your thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires with your partner. Listen to them with empathy and curiosity. Avoid criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Use “I” statements and positive feedback.
• Manage conflicts constructively. Don’t avoid or escalate conflicts. Instead, try to understand the underlying emotions and needs of your partner and yourself. Seek to find a win-win solution that respects both of your perspectives and preferences.
• Keep the spark alive. Don’t let your intimacy and passion fade away. Surprise your partner with romantic gestures, compliments, or gifts. Explore new ways of being intimate and playful with your partner. Tell them what you like and what you want in bed.
• Support each other’s growth. Encourage your partner to pursue their goals, interests, and hobbies. Celebrate their achievements and successes. Be there for them when they face challenges or difficulties. Respect their autonomy and individuality.
• Seek professional help if needed. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from a qualified therapist or counselor if you feel that your relationship is in trouble or that you need some guidance. Emotionally focused therapy, or EFT, is a proven and effective method to help couples heal and strengthen their bond.